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Speaking of rambling, that is a sentence that cries out for a full stop somewhere.

Also YES OKAY I GET IT. YOU’RE WITH CHRISTIAN. I DID NOT ACTUALLY THINK HE’D MAGICALLY DISAPPEARED IN THE LAST FIVE MINUTES.

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But is there no more hell below us?

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Firstly, I’m not actually averse to starting sentences with conjunctions, but you take it to ridiculous levels. Fucking stop it.

And, secondly, Anastasia and Christian were already in their own bubble. I mean, they are literally in a plastic bubble which surrounds the cockpit of the glider. They are the only ones in that bubble.

I genuinely don’t understand whether or not this is meant to be metaphorical, but either way, it’s stupid. Nothing has changed. They are no more or less isolated than they were a moment ago, and besides this sentence, there is no indication that either of them feels more isolated.

So, yeah, technically this sentence is true. I still want to slap you for writing it, though.

- Anastasia’s stomach went on to have a rich, fulfilling life after fleeing across the border to Mexico, and married a coil of intestine which really enjoyed its emotional depth and strength of character.

- 

Really? Because, you know, I thought that when the plane your glider is attached to picked up speed, you were going to slow down.

- 

Your “nervous stomach”, you say? Is this some kind of organ my anatomical knowledge doesn’t cover? Maybe how the nervous system digests its food?

Because I know you don’t mean your digestive stomach, since that actually has a remarkably low nerve density.

- 

I wish you’d find more adjectives for Christian than “beautiful”. Yes. Okay. He’s hot. This is relevant to your decision to trust him with your life how?

If your answer isn’t “It’s not”, then do not pass Go, do not collect £200, and for safety’s sake, slap yourself in the face.

- 

Anastasia Steele: master of technical terms.

No, but seriously. Was “joystick” beyond you?

- 

I feel like the use of the inner goddess is actually getting more and more erratic.

Like, it starts as a pretty clear analogy for Anastasia’s libido. Then it starts doing random shit that makes no sense in terms of a libido, but usually where it’s at least tangentially revolving around sex. And now, apparently, it’s scared of heights.

I fully anticipate that, by the end of 50 Shades Freed, Anastasia’s inner goddess will be entirely freed of her carnal prison and making a living as an exotic dancer in Las Vegas. Meanwhile, her subconscious will pull away as well, and become a librarian.

- 

I…

I honestly I have no idea what he’s referring to. I mean, I have reread the entire chapter just in case I missed something, and now I’m wondering if something’s been removed or changed because I have no goddamn clue.

I think he means strapping Anastasia into something? But… he hasn’t done that twice. I don’t get it.

My best guess is that he’s counting strapping her into her parachute. I… still don’t get it.

- 

I’ll be honest; if you’ve had sex this many times and he’s still happier about getting into a glider, you may want to re-evaluate this sex-based relationship.

- The importance of line breaks; this actually took me a moment to parse, and the image of Christian putting his hair up was amusing enough that I’m going to continue parsing it wrong anyway.

- 

I’m curious. Does Benson let every random person take charge of safety procedures, or just people who say they know what they’re doing? Because, I mean, I’m not an expert or anything, but either way this sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen.

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FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT?

That!

Okay, being a Floridian who uses I-95 all the time, I felt the need to point out that I-95 IS LITERALLY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY FROM SEATTLE. I'm assuming they're still in Georgia which is why they're on I-95, but why would she think they're taking that highway to - am I totally misunderstanding here?