““Don’t you think she was trying to tell you something back then?”
“Well, with hindsight, probably,” he says quietly.
QED. No empathy.”

…no, that is not a lack of empathy. When your girlfriend puts “Crazy In Love” on your iPod, it could just mean that she, you know… likes the song?

Shocking concept, I know. But sometimes people choose media for reasons other than dramatic irony.

Anonymous asked:

If you do the math, someone who makes $142 million a year and earns $100,000 per hour is only working about 28 hours a week. $15 million is the median compensation for the top 200 US CEOs (in 2012, according to Google), which at his stated hourly rate works out to three hours a week, which seems just about right. Accidental consistency! ~ladyphlogiston

Someone did point out that the figures I was using were only for those CEOs with companies on the stock market, and that since Christian is the sole owner of his company, his company can’t be on those lists. (To that person, though: I would like to say that I’m pretty sure someone said something about it being a Fortune500 company, which iirc means it must be limited)

But, yes. Three hours a week sounds about right, in that it definitely gives him enough time for his frankly ridiculous array of hobbies, surveillance, and side projects. (Actually, that’s a point. When he says he earns $100,000 an hour, is that hours in the office? Or hours of work? Does he get overtime? Does he give himself overtime? So many questions!)

“Desire uncurls in my belly. No.

I think the strength of my responses is such that they’re now being retroactively inserted into the narrative…

(seriously, that is the most unpleasant and least sexy description ever to be repeated way too many times)

Anonymous asked:

Man, if all men were like Cristian and all women were like Anastasia, the world would be a really horrible place. Like you said already: How can she think that when she is friends with guys?

Never mind all men and women, if more than a tiny handful of men were like Christian and of women were like Anastasia, the world would be a really horrible place.

I feel like either E.L. has never met a human being, or she’s had some really traumatic experiences with them. Probably the former.

I know your secret, E.L. You can’t hide your alien lineage from me.

“I wonder if it’s still lust at first sight for them.”

Can I just comment at this point that a) you are phrasing that in a very judgemental way for someone who seems way more interested in the sex than anything else when b) one of the things that you keep commenting on about Kate and Elliot is an unprecedented level of romance and smushiness and c) we have literally no evidence that it was “at first sight”.

Seriously. There was like an hour where they were together out of your sight. Then they danced together. Then they went home and screwed. Then they started a relationship. That is not “lust at first sight”; that is how an awful lot of people get together.

"Lust  at first sight" is the sort of thing more like… ooh, I don’t know… going to interview a random guy and all but fapping your way through the entire conversation because he’s just sooo hot.

Anonymous asked:

All that Spanish omelet thing did was leave me confused. Cold potatoes? I guess she meant they're already cooked and refrigerated? But yeah, I don't get why she believes we'd care what she's eating. But I guess it at least shows that she'll eat if Christian doesn't try and force her.

Cold potatoes aren’t confusing to me. Like, we usually have one or two cold boiled potatoes floating around the fridge at home.

What is confusing, as you say, is why she thinks we care. I disagree that it shows she’ll eat without him, though, since she’s only cooking because he wanted to eat.

concertoinc4 asked:

Random nitpick, but peas in tortilla? Really? I can see maybe ham, and you could theoretically add a vegetable, but.... it's less common. I mean all she had to do was egg and potato, how did she make it weird? Frozen pea?? But maybe this is all part of Ana's grand master plan to cook unsubmissively: complicating a simple dish. That'll show him. (And he would probably demand a Hollandaise sauce on it just to make me mad, ungrateful twit.)

Don’t be ridiculous. Tortillas are a thing you get from Taco Bell. She’s making Spanish omelette. Totally different thing.

(In all seriousness, I have made Spanish omelette with peas, and it was quite nice if entirely inauthentic. But I also eat frozen peas out of the bag, so I am clearly not a reliable source)

“I just don’t know. Perhaps it’s not such a revelation.”

That your boyfriend has no empathy and cares literally nothing for your feelings or autonomy?

Regardless of how obvious it’s been, I’d still call that one hell of a fucking revelation.

Maybe EL James thinks people are idiots. Or mistakenly thought she was writing for a recipe book. I just don't see why we'd need an explanation as to how she prepped her potatoes or what exactly she ate. Unless it was say a murder mystery or something of the nature and someone murdered someone else by putting poison in their food as a way to explain why the person didn't taste anything strange. But even those types of books don't do that..



Stop getting my hopes up with your talk of poison!

archive older ›
Tearing apart the fastest-selling series ever, one kinkshaming, poorly-worded, unintentionally hilarious line at a time.

This blog's OTP is Kate/Anastasia, and it fervently believes that Christian is secretly Batman. Or possibly Cyclops. Or Robin Thicke. Honestly, who knows? All I know is that I ever met him I'd be too busy kicking him in the balls to ask.

I try to be funny, but occasionally things are just mind-rendingly bad enough that I go into serious-rant mode. Trigger warnings throughout for rape, eating disorders, abuse, ungodly bad depiction of mental illness, and drug use. Among others. Also, I use gifs a lot, so this page is probably not epilepsy-safe.

50 Shades of Asking Stuff

50 Shades of Submissions (nudge nudge,wink wink)

50 Shades of FAQ

50 Shades of Navigation

theme by Conkers